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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?